Funny/Great Bob Newhart Quotes

All I can say about life is, 'Oh God, enjoy it!'

I think you should be a child for as long as you can. I have been successful for 74 years being able to do that. Don't rush into adulthood, it isn't all that much fun.

I'm most proud of the longevity of my marriage, my kids, and my grandchildren. If you don't have that, you really don't have very much.

Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on.

It's getting harder and harder to differentiate between schizophrenics and people talking on a cell phone. It still brings me up short to walk by somebody who appears to be talking to themselves.

I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'.

I think there's a part, just a part of comedians, that is still childlike.

It was a decision to work clean. I just prefer to work that way. I have no problem with comedians who don't work that way. There was a temptation in the early '70s to reconsider. I decided against it.

This stammer got me a home in Beverly Hills, and I'm not about to screw with it now.

When I started out in 1960, I thought it might possibly last a couple of years. I never expected it to last 42. I take great satisfaction in that longevity.

12 Delightful Ogden Nash Quotes

Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker.

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.

Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny - Did you ever try buying them without money?

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.

I have an idea that the phrase 'weaker sex' was coined by some woman to disarm the man she was preparing to overwhelm.

Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.

I think remorse ought to stop biting the consciences that feed it.

Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave when they think that their children are naive.

The most exciting happiness is the happiness generated by forces beyond your control.

Commitments the voters don't know about can't hurt you.

Some debts are fun when you are acquiring them, but none are fun when you set about retiring them.